The Best Age to Start Teaching Your Baby Good Sleep Habits (And why it’s important)
The best age to start teaching your baby good sleep habits is typically between 4 and 6 months. At this stage, babies have reached key developmental milestones that make them more capable of self-soothing and sleeping for longer stretches, setting the foundation for healthy sleep patterns.
As new parents, you’ve likely heard about the importance of teaching your baby to sleep well and wondered when the best time is to start teaching your baby.
Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can set the stage for better sleep throughout your child’s life and into adulthood. But when is the right time to begin?
First, Let's explore what is sleep training, the developmental stages, gentle sleep training techniques, and key milestones to help you decide when it might be right for your baby.
What is baby sleep training
Sleep training is a method of teaching your infant or child to fall asleep independently, without relying on external props like rocking or feeding to sleep. By learning these skills, they can put together sleep cycles on their own, resulting in longer and more restful stretches of sleep.
This process helps children become more confident sleepers, while also reducing the amount of intervention needed from parents during the night. With consistent sleep training, both children and parents can enjoy better, uninterrupted rest.
When to Start Baby Sleep Training: Key Developmental Milestones
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but many experts agree that the best age to sleep train a baby is typically between 4 and 6 months. Over the past 15 years, I've found that 4 months is a really sweet spot for teaching independent sleep skills.
By this stage, babies have usually hit key developmental milestones that make them more capable of self-soothing and sleeping for longer stretches at night. Just before 4 months, your baby may experience the dreaded 4-month sleep regression. This is a good sign!
Your baby's sleep cycle goes from having 2 parts to 4, and they’ll have these parts for the rest of their lives! This can be an excellent time to begin gently shaping sleep habits.
Best Gentle Sleep Training Techniques by Age Group
0-3 Months: Building a Foundation
Before 4 months, you can start creating healthy baby sleep habits. While formal sleep training isn’t recommended in the first few months, you can make positive associations with sleep by implementing gentle newborn sleep hygiene.
Focus on:
Create a sleep sanctuary for your baby that includes a dark, calm, quiet environment.
Watch awake windows and overtiredness, most newborns need about 45-60 minutes of awake time before they need to sleep again.
If feeding is well-established and weight gain is good, consider feeding a baby at the beginning of their awake window when they’re the most alert. They’re more likely to take a good, full feed and avoid a feed-to-sleep association.
4-6 Months: The Ideal Time to Start
At 4-6 months, your baby is often ready to start learning to sleep longer stretches without needing a lot of intervention. You can:
Try gentle sleep training methods like "gradual retreat" or the "chair method," which involves gradually reducing your presence over time.
Set up a consistent bedtime routine that signals it's time for sleep.
Encourage self-soothing by offering comfort but allowing your baby to fall asleep on their own after a bit of time.
6-12 Months: Continuing Healthy Sleep Habits
As your baby grows, you can continue to reinforce healthy sleep habits by being consistent with routines and gentle training methods. Avoid drastic changes like dropping naps too early, and continue encouraging self-soothing. Gentle sleep training can be applied more confidently now, as babies at this age are more independent.
Different Sleep Training Methods
There are several approaches to sleep training, allowing families to choose a method that best aligns with their needs and values. While "cry it out" is a well-known option, most clients I work with prefer gentler alternatives, where parents can provide support that gradually decreases over time. Whether we start with the parents in the room, how often we check in, and how often we pick a baby up all depends on the age of the baby and the comfort level of the family.
Each method has its own pace and style, making it possible for every family to find a fit if sleep training feels right for them. With patience and consistency, families can implement a method that leads to more restful nights for both the child and the parents.
FAQs About Sleep Training
Is sleep training harmful?
Sleep training isn't harmful when done using gentle, age-appropriate methods. Many common myths suggest that sleep training is harsh or causes emotional distress, but in reality, it's about helping your baby learn skills to sleep more independently, and there are plenty of gentle sleep training techniques that minimize crying.
What if my baby isn’t ready?
If your baby seems unprepared for sleep training, it’s okay to wait. There’s no perfect time for every baby and every family. It’s a very personal decision, and the right time for someone else’s baby might not be the right time for yours, and that’s okay.
Can I sleep train if my baby is still waking for feedings?
Yes! You can still work on teaching your baby to sleep well even if they need a nighttime feeding. In most of my sleep plans, we don’t pull night feeds. We incorporate night feeding into the plan while focusing on self-soothing and falling back asleep afterward. When you put a few parameters around night feeds, your baby will naturally drop the feeds on their own and when ready.
Practical Steps for Teaching Baby Sleep Habits
1. Observe your baby’s cues: Pay attention to their developmental stage and whether they’re ready for more structured sleep training. You know your baby, and you know you - trust that you’ll know if it’s the right time.
2. Create a routine: Establish a calming bedtime routine, regardless of your baby’s age. This is the first step in any sleep plan I write for a family. Then, make sure you’re using age appropriate awake windows so your baby can build up enough sleep pressure to fall asleep independently.
Newborn - 3 months old: 1 - 1.5 hours of awake time, 5-7 hours of daytime sleep
4 - 6 month old: 2 - 3 hours of awake time, 3.5 - 4 hours of daytime sleep
7-11 months old: 3 - 4 hours of awake time, 2.5 - 3 hours of daytime sleep
12 - 18 months old: 5 hours of awake time, 2 hours of daytime sleep
19 - 24 months: 5 - 5.5 hours of awake time, 1.5 - 2 hours of daytime sleep
2-3 years old: 5 - 6 hours of awake time, 1.5 hours of daytime sleep
3 - 4 years old: Most likely working towards dropping their nap OR oversleeping during the day to compensate for poor night sleep.
3. Choose a method that feels right for you: Whatever method you choose should involve not “helping” your baby to sleep. Start by letting your baby do more of the journey to sleep. Instead of immediately intervening when you baby gets upset, try using some gentle touch & talk, and a few pick ups but then allow baby to keep trying to get to sleep on their own.
4. Be patient: Teaching a baby independent sleep skills takes time, and consistency is key. Stick with your chosen method and give your baby space to adjust.
5. Seek support: A LOT of information is out there, and it can feel overwhelming to sleep train. Asking for help from a pediatric sleep coach who’s a good fit for your family can be life-changing.
In conclusion, the best age to sleep train your baby depends on their developmental readiness, typically between 4 to 6 months. Starting at the right time with gentle sleep training methods can lead to better sleep for your baby and your family.
Remember when I said that the best time is maybe never and anytime? It’s true!
What did I mean by never…
You don’t have to teach your baby independent sleep skills unless you want to. Some parents never teach their children to sleep well, and that’s okay. I know many moms who don’t mind being up multiple times a night and actually thrive on it.
If what you’re doing works for you and your baby - keep doing it! If you’re feeling good and feel like your baby is getting enough rest, that’s all that matters.
When a parent asks me the best age to teach independent sleep skills, my answer is that if you’re ready, your baby is ready. What you bring to this experience is 50% of the success. We simply adjust our approach to meet your baby where they are.
I write a personalized plan that encompasses the entire 24-hour feed/sleep schedule and works for that family. I want you to be 100% comfortable with our approach. There’s not just one way to teach a baby to sleep well; and there’s a way that will work for your family.
Are you ready?
I offer a complimentary discovery call to learn more about your child’s specific sleep challenges, and I can share exactly how I can help your family.
Parenthood is exhausting enough when we’re well-rested!
Here’s to a well-rested family,
